Bonding

Max is sitting with me and he just read the word “Bonding” I will have to look it up for him later. He is reading everything I type. He loves sitting with you to do anything with the computer or electronic. I can’t wait till he gets the present that Nanny got for him when he gets home. He will love it.

We have had another day in Zap. I know your joke about Ground Hog day families that have been here before. I totally get it. It is not bad, it just feels like forever some times. The good news is we got our court date for Zap. It is not as early as we had hoped. It is on Monday the 18th at 11 am. Mark will leave on Monday night or Tuesday night to go back to Kiev to meet up with John and Kevin. We are totally freaked out that we have not had a chance to talk to them.

Maxim =mama papa =nastya=yana=lori =papaimamayavas=love=vitya=dryg=mama=ya=tebalove=papayateba=lubit

So Lorichka called J and Max took over typing. He decided to phonetically write out he loves us J we are happy with his typing skills for sure especially with messages like this.

Ok sooooo here is something that I have learned that is not like “exceptional” but that I can pass on for those who come behind. Just one of those tip things, but if I do not write it now I may forget so here goes. The bottles of water here called Bon Aqua have two colored lids, dark blue and light blue, if you buy the dark blue one you get water “with gas” since this happened to me and I did not want to waste it (and by itself it tastes like junk) I took two small packets of Crystal Light and added them to the gassy water. It made an instant hit with the kids because Mom made “coke” for them. Mom was thrilled because it is water with sugar free Crystal light and as long as I keep them thinking it is a “HUGE” treat then they are happy to have Mom’s soda instead of “the real thing” which bounces them off the walls. I have let them have some Sprite but given the choice Coke is a sure thing and I am trying not to get that going anymore than it already is from their trips to the “magazine.”

We have had some issues with Anna wanting us to put UAH (minutes) on her phone. We told her last Sat (and kept our word) that she could have 25 UAH to last her for a week. Well those who have gone before can tell you that if the kids can they will blow through the min. in a heart beat. She was totally ticked off yesterday when after 3 days she had used her UAH. We told her we would not get her anymore till Sat. The top came off. I got daggers from the sweetie who has been my helper and who has freely given hugs and “I love yous” I was like what the heck happened? It was one of our first tests. We stuck to our guns and 5 hours and lots of tears later we got past it. I called Yana to get help, but her phone was off. I called S and she tried to talk to her to no avail. It was like God just pulled the props out and it was us and Him. Not helpful at all her older sister called her and she told her she was out of minutes so her sister who is 25 put 10 more UAH on her phone. She announced this to me with great celebration. I was like wonderful, we are trying to establish a chain of command here and we have this helpful outside influence making that a little harder. It ended up ok. And Yana came over today and we talked about it. She blew through her UAH her sister gave her by this morning at 10am. Yana came at 3 and we talked about the phone, when she can have it and when she can’t. How much we will give her and when. 25 UAH is like $5.00 and our taxi driver friend said it lasts him close to a week so we were fair to do things that way. She is going to learn and so are we. It is good. I keep trying to remind myself that each new challenge is a new chance to grow and bond. We are getting plenty LOL. While yesterday was not my favorite experience it is one I see God and myself in. How many times does He give us something and tell us take good care of this, and make it last, and we mistreat it and take life out of it before it is time. We are guilty of this in relationships foremost. I sometimes think in our relationship with Him it is the worst. I am so thankful that that is one relationship that doesn’t wear out. No matter what we can always count on His goodness and grace to us.

Mark is playing “chachkies” (checkers) with our daughter. Melissa just called (and Mel for some reason it cut us off I did not just hang up!) and we had a great conversation. It was good to hear from her. Jan and Jerry called today and so we have felt connected and it has helped fill our tanks especially after yesterday. Daily we talk to Lori which is a gift from God as she always has something positive to say and a good story about school to tell. Things are good. We are thankful for the way that God is dealing blessing us. I will not say that I am ready for citizenship here. LOL. I have a hard time and each thing we do is more of a challenge here than it would be in the states. It makes me more appreciative of each of our comforts, here are a few you may want to thank God for today:

The ease of communication (even when it is hard) with your children.
Turning on the water and knowing that
A. it will come on hot or cold and not some random flash of either or.
B. it is clean and you could drink it instead of buy it.
C. it is not rusted when it comes out of the pipe blazing rip your skin off hot. (that one is always nice when you are in the middle of trying to get the soap out of your hair).
You do your laundry and you don’t have to agitate it by hand, or ring it out or hang it up and hope it will dry out in the next two days.
You can go to Wal-Mart once for the week maybe two because you have a pantry that doesn’t double as a vent shaft for the gas furnace. (The one that heats the water that intermittently is hot and cold).

I recognize that that mini rant has “spoiled American” written all over it. Trust me, I have been in enough places in this world, to know that what I have here is not the pits by any means. We are blessed. It has just been a long couple of days.


Mama +papa=love Maxim +Anna=Sister and brother Mama +Anna=Love Papa +Anna=Love Mama +Papa +Maxim=Love Mama +Ana=Love
Papa +Anna=Love Maxim +Anna=Sister and brother Mama I love you

So Anna wanted a turn, and this time she made a choice to call herself Anna which is interesting. And timely and basically means I need to make sure that I just thank God for all He is doing and not whine about what things we are lacking in. Tomorrow we will check out the open market again and make sure we pick up anything else we need for the Valentines Party on Thursday.

Much love to each of you and your families from us and from ours,
Mark and Jenn & Co.


Happy Valentines Day.

So, yesterday’s trip to open market yielded a soccer ball for Max and Jeans and a shirt for Anna, since she left the orphanage with one pair only. Can you say Ripe? The kids are out side playing with said ball for a short break from “school” which today was just working on hellos and learning John 3:16. I know that they do not understand half of what is going on, but the half they do get it better than nothing and establishes a routine for them and for us which we need. We would go out of our minds at this point with out some structure.

We leave at 1:30 to go to the orphanage to see the kids Valentine’s Day presentation and to give some new English Materials and Soccer Balls etc to the school. The necklaces and earrings that Tracy Griffin gave us are going to the girls at the school, each one is in a nice little package that has hearts all over it. We are really excited about doing this for them. Each new kind that Anna saw was a new squeal of delight and a fight about how no she could not have one they are for our friends, they will get things in America. She is in good humor about it she is excited that her friends will get the nice things. She just doesn’t get the concept that there are other things waiting for her that are equally as delightful in the states. Aren’t we the same? Doesn’t God say look this gift is not yours I have this set aside for someone and your gift is different but it is just as good! You get what I give you and it is a blessing I set aside just for you! & we want someone else’s gifts never really happy with our own. Parenting is teaching me a lot about my relationship with God. This I am so thankful for.

One thing that I might pass along to anyone else who is on this same track is DO plan to have a routine daily. If you are in Zap you may well get your kids from the start. If this is the case plan to have a schedule. Keep it. Include a rest time from the start no matter how old they are. They may not sleep but they will need the rest and you will too. It is so important not to break with what you are doing as they are really in deep need of something familiar and the orphanage has a familiar routine. If you are in Kiev or someplace else where your visits to the orphanage are at a set time daily, do not wear yourself out early by taking every new game you have. Bring games, and recycle them. Bring Checkers, bring uno, bring a small handheld 2$ game from Wal-Mart. You do not have to bring gameboys to make the kids happy, of course if you have them, it will no doubt be a great thing to have from their stand point. Do not bring things when you visit that cost a lot of money and leave them with the kids. They will be stolen or broken. If you have not purchased a cell phone for your child, think long and hard about doing so before hand. It has pros but with girls especially we are finding that there are some serious cons. First of all there is the issue of not wanting to engage you, instead they are wanting to engage their friends from the orphanage as long as they have minutes to do so. We have found that it is really important to tell them as much as we can ahead of time the things we are going to do and the things that are acceptable and not. You toss one extra request in there and it could cause a war because it is not something they understand why you are doing.

We are seriously missing John and Kevin. When we get this crew all together it will be a very interesting thing. I can tell you right now, John will not put up with much of the whining that is coming from these two. He is just not that kind of kid. Kevin I worry a little will be tempted to give in to some of the baby talk and “shenackagains” (that was for you Bone Family) that has gone on here some days. For all the wildness the kids are really good and in their shoes I am ok with all the boundary testing that goes on. They are learning and so are we daily. Going to the “magazine” has been a daily thing for a little produce etc. Anna never fails to find something that she wants in the cart that she will just die with out. Some days I get something but most days I don’t. I am not starting that party here and then having to keep it up in line at the Wal-Mart at home. For those who have been before us we want you to know we join you in the oh so coveted award for “FOO” which we have gotten when we say no occasionally or when Mark goads his daughter by chewing on his goatee in order to illicit said “FOO” response. We have also heard our share of “Bline” which is to say one of my other pet words I am not fond of. “Foo” while not pleasant I can deal with… Bline makes my skin crawl because I know what they mean exactly. UGH. I am choosing the walls I will die on today. And Bline is not one of them. That will be for later.

Much lovin as the snow falls here, more later on the party…
Jenn

Post Party Blog:

I have to say that we had the best time at the school watching the kids do their program! Why do we not do that with our kids anymore? Teach them dancing lessons or to appreciate classical guitar as much? Gosh ya’ll they did such a great job and it was so pretty! The kids changed into different costumes and did readings from memory of poets. The dresses all kind of looked like something from aught not and I wished that all the girls in the states with prom dresses they have worn once would just put them in a box and let me ship them here. They take such good care of each item they get. They did their routines with pride and there was not a single one of them that looked like they just hated the idea of doing it. Remember this is a school for kids that have speech an some listening issues so it was really impressive to hear the music and see them make their best effort to sing and read their poems. I was so proud of all of them! Such a neat blessing.

The director spoke and shared that he was so thankful that we have new American friends that are now family because of our adoption of Anna and Max. He is the nicest man. A hulk of a Ukrainian he used to be a PE and Math teacher. He still teaches Math and makes sure his kids all have the best chances in life. The school is really unique of all those that we have seen in that again, no frowns, no yelling, just smiles and really happy kids and staff.

We had a dinner of borscht, some kind of a porage, a meatball (don’t ask), and cabbage and peas. It was Max, Anna, Mark & I, and Yana and our driver Oleg with Nadia as a hostess from the school. We gave out candy and gifts and the kids were proud to donate to the school new soccer, basket and volley balls we found at the open market. Anna was trilled to give each girl a package with a necklace in it. The girls were happy as all get out to get them.

It was a good night you guys!