Sleepless in Ukraine - Jan 20, 2008

So, I mentioned we had pretty good luck with sleep our first afternoon and night here. Last night was the opposite. Guess my schedule is still not adjusted to Ukraine time. We went to bed about 11pm and I was up by 2:30am. I stayed in bed for about 2 � hours trying to get back to sleep, but it was no use. My mind was playing out every possible scenario of today and our visit to the orphanage. In my mind, I kept playing over the things we heard when we ate lunch with the Underwoods and G, S, and Lori. The things Chris shared about the 2 boys we are drawn to there, echoed by what G shared with us, from which he personally received information asking one of the boys some questions, kept my brain in overdrive. What would the first meeting be like with the oldest, after not having seen him in 1 year and 3 months. G says, he is a kind boy, and he is a big young man. Paula agrees, and adds that he has grown so much since we saw him last. My thoughts ask the question, �Will he want to come and be part of the Smith family? Will he want to be the big brother? Or, will he feel cheated to join a family of 7?� What about the other boy we hope to meet for the first time? Will there be a connection? I don�t know the answers. I can�t even ask the questions yet. All I can do is dream.
I was listening to the new Caedmon�s Call cd last night, and watching the slideshow on my iPod of these children we are hoping to be ours. I love the 3rd track with Danielle singing � Her songs always end up being some of my favorites. This one speaks of seeing the sacred in the things and people around us. It brings images of hope and dreams come true. I was a little overwhelmed to see those faces of the children we have come to love. Hoping with all of my heart that I am to be their Dad. It didn�t help that when I couldn�t sleep this morning and I had prayed for a long time, I decided to get up at 5am and watch Superman Returns. Ok, so get through a pretty familiar movie, more Superman verses Lex and Lois and Superman love saga, and you get this new element, that is not even part of the original storyline. I have some good friends that are Superman fans. There are mixed reviews from them in wondering what will happen now that they have taken these new liberties with the Superman storyline. All that aside, because this isn�t a comic book discussion (although most of you know I can discuss comics with the best of them), it is a scene between a Father and His son. Dude, it gets me every time I see it, and trust me, I have seen the movie a few times now!
****Movie Spoiler, in case you haven�t seen Superman Returns by now.****
Toward the end of the movie, after he wakes up from the big battle, Superman flys from his hospital room to see if it is really true, what he heard from Lois in his somewhat comatose state� Could it be, could this be my son? As he stands over his boy who is sleeping peacefully, he quotes what His father said to him. I can only imagine why it is a tear-jerker for me, and other people can watch this seen and be unaffected. I want the chance to stand over my sons and daughter and pray over them � to speak blessings on them as they sleep peacefully. I want my passion for the salvation for others, my desire to love people, to flow through them, just like the strength of Superman, this young child will make his own. The point is not what have they done to mess up the Superman Universe for me by adding this variable, but rather this is a picture of Legacy. It is a new beginning, one where there is beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61). For this man was once the last of his kind, and now he would have someone else in the world like him. Well, I know biologically, these children we are adopting are not our flesh and blood. But ohhh man, when I read about how Christ adopted me � I know there is no more I could do to be His than what He has accomplished through the cross, and once again connecting me with my Heavenly Father. I think deep down we all have that yearning for the connection. Some of us burry it. For many of us that yearning is too painful, due to the mistakes of an earthly father, or the absence of one altogether. But for this father, I knew years ago I had a calling to be a dad. And since before Jenn and I got married, I have yearned for my kids. And now, sitting here this morning, on the verge of the future, I glory in my God to take a simple movie to allow me to well in up inside with love for what will be. Fathers who are reading this, I am sure you can relate to what I am feeling. Mothers, you probably feel something similar yourselves too � but in case you have forgotten, or you have been caught up with the stresses of life, of parenting � remember who loves you, and whom you are called to love.
I pray each of you has a wonderful Sunday! I pray you tell your Heavenly Father just how much you love Him and trust Him to guide your steps today. I pray you count each and every blessing He brings to mind as you are reading this � I know I am. Pray for us as we go today! I will update as soon as I am able.
Until He is Known
Papa Mark