How true the title is...

A few days more…

It has been a few, so to catch you up, here goes…

So, when I signed off last time I was heading to blog by way of the post office. Every place we went was wrong till finally a man spoke just enough English to explain I had to go to window 9 or 10 in another room in the building. By the time I heard from him I was ready to cry to be honest. I am thankful for this time. Each time I reach the point of sheer frustration I think about what it is going to be like for the kids to a great degree. To be constantly bombarded with a language you don’t really understand makes you feel like you can’t hear, or worse like everything you hear is noise. I have to tell you something. My kids like the music so much here, and they listen it all the time. I hate it. It is like being caught in a constant ghetto disco. LOL. I know that for them there will be many days ahead that things sound really strange in their ears. Some one telling them what they can and can’t do proves to be an annoyance to them right now. Some times that proves to be the same for us I think. We read what the promises are in God’s word. We take the ones we want, and we discard the ones we don’t really care about, the ones that have to do with His promises for hard times too. Those get blown off.

I have to say that I have blown those off too. My love for Anna and Max is growing daily. My time with them is a treasure, even if it is one that has to be cleaned up to be appreciated. The time that we spend together is a roller coaster. The highs are high and the lows are low. They are in a constant space of testing me. Not only do they want to know if I mean what I say but they want to know if I can back it up. This has been really hard at times. They know that in public they have more room to run than they do when we are at home. They take advantage of it. Like when I say to them please do not do something and they do it anyway, here they get the, “You are so busted look.” Out side however they know that I am under pressure to do other things and there are people all over the place so I do not feel like I can shoot that look. Take yesterday for example, Alexander who is Nina’s driver, asked Max to put the window up in the backseat because Max with out permission had put it down, and it was cold. Max refused him. Three times, he was asked and in my book that is two times too many. He knew that, and could see on my face I was disappointed. I told him to put it up. He looked at me like, you will have to climb over Anna and make me. Ya’ll those are the moments that you just want to scream. Instead using my limited language I told him he needed to tell Alexander he was sorry because he didn’t listen the first time. He was embarrassed because now it was clear to every one that he was not listening to his elder or his mother. There was a pout, but the window went up. He did not however tell Alexander that he was sorry which I had also asked him to do. You win some you loose some right?

The court document stating that we are officially Anna and Max’s parents came into full effect yesterday. We went to the Regional office of Vital Statistics. They are given a copy of the court decree and then we are given a form that says that we are “introduced” we have “permission” to go to the local office of Vital Statistics where the new birth certificates are made. It took us from 9 till 11:15 to get through the first office because there were “grammatical errors” in the court decree. Once it was agreed on by all parties that a corrected one would be given to them by Monday afternoon (and of course a box of candy and etc…) they sent us to the local office. In the local office we were told come back in an hour and I could sign for the new documents. We left there and went to buy more candy. A must for any office you visit, heads up… the kids were hungry so Yana suggested a café. Note to self, Café is coffee house, and or bar. This was both. My first clue was the drunk guy, head down on the table, hand around his beer.

Side note: please pray against the alcoholism in this country. It is off the hook. I see young people by 10 am with two liter size bottles of beer drinking, those are the ones that can’t afford the vodka. I see those too. My heart is broken for a society and people that think drowning their problems is the answer to them. This is not “social drinking.” This is, “I am going to celebrate. So I drink. I have financial problems. So I drink. I have a heart ache. I drink. Some one makes me angry. I drink. I feel frustrated. I drink. I don’t want to feel at all. I drink. I don’t like my spouse. I drink. I have no feeling of upward mobility. I drink. I don’t see hope. I drink.” It is really sad to see the effects on each person that it touches. The kids see people drinking and they freak. They say, “foo Vodka.” Or “foo beer.” They watched too much in their short lives to want to see it any more.

So the kids order French fries. Yana and I had a great conversation about life and our past. She hurts so much about her life. She tries so hard to stay positive. She and her Mom live together. She wants to be able to have a surgery on her eyes so that she can get her vision corrected. The surgery here costs $5000.00. and there is not a high success rate. It is dangerous because techniques are not up to standard here. By the way, Paula Hartsock and Patricia Knipher you are her heros. She loves you guys. She talked a long time about you Paula and your time in Kiev. She said she felt like she was in your family and she hopes that she is chosen to come with the group that Terri Garver is bringing this summer. She knows that Marina and Nina want to go visit others but she says she has no interest in going any place but being there with you guys and the kids. Just want to let you know.

Fries eaten, we leave the sleeping man at the table with his beer, and a prayer, we rush back to the office to claim hope for two. We go in, I sign on the lines for Anna’s and Max’s birth certificates which read Anastasia Elizabeth Smith born to Mark Gregory and Jennifer Elizabeth Smith of the USA on June 12th, 1994, and Maxim Gregory Smith born to Mark Gregory and Jennifer Elizabeth Smith of the USA on October 16th 1995. The lady in the office and I both cry.

We leave and try to turn the papers in we are told come back in an hour. We go to see Nina. Max eats cookies, we drink coffee and tea, we leave and go back to the office. We are told to wait. We get in, we get the official stamped papers. We go back to Nina’s office for copies. We go racing to another office to get Maxim’s new ID number. Race over for Friday. The office to get their visa’s is closed on Monday so we will go out to Nova to get Anna’s ID number. On Tuesday we are going to get their pictures made at the visa office. I hope they smile for those. But to be frank, at this point, I don’t care if they stick their tongues out. Maybe by Wednesday night from Kiev I will get to post ;)

My confession is, that the way that these two are fighting right now, about everything, is obnoxious. LOL. They literally fight about how much each person gets to eat, to drink, to do, if it is not “dead equal” then they fight. For example, I can take a piece of ham, cut it down the middle. Both of them get the same size piece, but because one of them wants it cut smaller then that one must have gotten more. There is his sunflower seed candy that they like. It is in the shape of a grid. It has 6 lines and like another five across so they are big chicklet size pieces. Obvious to you and me, (and Anna) if you break it in the middle, then it is equal. To be rude to her brother she broke it, and then said that she was going to take the big half. Very sibling like. Very normal. Further more, when he had a hissy that his half was smaller, he tried to kick her. He missed. It doesn’t pay to miss, because she did not miss. She connected leaving a hand print on his cheek. Further she then let me know that “he is abusive” because revealed his secret pet bird. OMG! This is why when we get home, there is no way that we can “have presents” waiting for them. Other than a cage for that bird apparently. They have to all get the exact same amount of everything for a while. I will make a list and follow it to a T when I take them to get their clothing or anything else… If we give them something like a ball to play with it is for “the family” because to do anything else is going to cause a war I refuse to fight. Please understand, we really appreciate your love for them. We have gotten your emails about wanting to know their sizes. I still can’t really answer that question because their clothing is sized in European sizes or not at all. When we get them home, after we have taken them to get some stuff I will have a better idea.

There are some things that happened in the last couple of days that amazed me that I want to tell you. Because they were fighting over something, presently it escapes me, because that is a theme around here, LOL, they then started laughing. Max saw me fidget with my cross on my necklace. Max says, “you bible.” which he picked up, and showed me. Yes, that is my bible. “you Christian?” Yes I am a Christian. “ahhh Mom, me no Christian, Annie no Christian.” To which they then started to rattle about something about Papa and made signs at me that looked a lot like Anna was saying she wanted to be baptized. I called Lori and Oksana and they confirmed that in fact, Anna was asking that she wanted to be baptized by Papa. That was so cool. I know that God’s word does not return void. See over the last couple of weeks, Anna has been taking my bible and using it to copy “English words” out of into her booklet. While she doesn’t know what she is writing, she does not know who she is writing about He knows her. He sees her, and He hears here. Some day I pray that she understands what she is really asking for, and when that day happens, when she knows why she wants to be baptized then it will be precious to watch her Papa honor her request. For now, she just keeps on taking my bible, and copying out of Genesis. She has copied I think like 8 chapters or so… I let her do whatever she wants with it. Obviously God is using this to speak to her heart.

The battles are huge, but so are the victories. Right now they are playing with my electronic bible and they are looking up each other’s names, and other words they know in English, Sister, Brother, etc and they get so excited when they find them.

I am ready to come home. That sentence is hysterical honestly since we will not even find out what our court date is until next Wednesday in Kiev. I pray that it is soon. I hope that it will be like on Friday but have a feeling it will be more like Monday or Weds. of the following week. I am also certain that to get a date it will take a “nice” box of candy. Those who have come before feel me on this. Ugh.

OK peace out for now. Lovin from the final days here in Zaph. PTL.

Friday March 7th….

First I would like to say again Happy Birthday to Chelle Martin J I hope that you had a wonderful birthday and got to do something special with your Honey and kids!

Next I would like to say Happy Wedding Eve to my Brother and Sister in Love. Talking to you for just a minute the other night was so precious to me and I really grieve not being at your big day tomorrow. I love you both so much. I think about the things that God has done to bring you together, how special your friendship is, and the way that you just fit and I am excited for all that He has planned for your lives. You will make “tying the knot” a truly “unique” experience and one that will be long remembered. I am looking forward to pictures and video and of course a personal interview with Mr. and Mrs. Jon Lederman to hear all the details. My heart is longing to be there with all of you.

And so as not to loose ground:

Rewind:

OK a few things to ask me about some day and for me to remember:

The Pizza House disaster.
The fingernails.

The meeting with Aloshia and Luda
The truth./ The drinking
The Thief.

The last day at the internot.
The last supper here in Zap and how happy it was.
The whole jar of mayo.
No tickets to Kiev

The morning of the departure and the dirty jeans.

OMG. Let me go home.

For Paula Hartsock and Patricia Knipher again may I echo that your lives have had a profound effect on Yana’s. Please hear me when I say to you that she respects, and loves you so much, and truly calls you family. She wants to see you both again so much. She longs to be with you and your kids. She wants to come to the states this summer. She has not been told yet if she will be invited to travel or not but she is praying that God will let her come. She is holding out hope for her eye surgery but says that it is hard for her to still believe that she might get to come and have it done. I told her not to give up and to wait to see what God will do.

Please pray for her and her walk. She is so close to jumping into God’s arms you can tell. She has a friend Irena that is her only true friend in Zap. She is a Christian. She invites her to church. Begs her to go. She “forces” her you can tell in a good friend way at least once a month. She likes going with Irena but says she grew up in an atheist home and her faith is not encouraged there to this day. Irena tells her it is just the devil that keeps her from going. I told her I agree with Irena. She wants what her friends have. Pray with me that she will want Him bad enough to trust Him with her life.

The train ride with the kids and Yana back to Kiev was good. We left at 2am and got back to Kiev at 1pm. Note to those who come behind YOU CAN LEAVE after 9pm it is just not something you hear about. Oleg helped us load all of our stuff in 10 min. flat which is all the time we had to get the stuff on the train and hug his neck before the train pulled out. That is why you don’t hear that option often. It is not an easy feat. It can be done! So if you need to know that is an option.

The country side in the morning was lovely. I needed to see that part of Ukraine. The cities are not my thing but I have to tell you how thankful I was to pull into Kiev and for my Husband to come into our car before we had a chance to disembark and to see his handsome face! He looks so wonderful! To get off the train and see Lori and just hug her and tell her I love her was a gift. We hit the ground running. Came to the one bed room (Mark and I have a bed the kids slept on fold out chairs in the same room for our family snore fest) apartment dropped off our stuff and then headed to 21 to see Kevin and John. It was a funky first meeting as John did not show up until later. He is having a hard time right now and you can tell it. It was literally a hi and bye with him. Kevin is sold commercial on going to be with a family in America. John has been having reservations and going back and forth in his head. I understand his fears. And then again I don’t. I’ve never been 6 and found my Mom dead. I’ve never been living on the streets running from orphanages and then finally finding a place to just stop running. I’ve never had two complete strangers show up and say come live with us and be our son and these are your new siblings. I’ve never been as brave as these kids. Never.

Yesterday went better. We got to spend more time with them both. The kids battled with each other. Max is so the little brother. Kevin and he are going to do great. Anna is loving the I’m the only girl status and then I can see her also thinking who will my pals be? She will have plenty with all of you in the Youth Group I know, but pray for her right now b/c she doesn’t see that yet!

The mootro is even more of an experience with two kids who are freaked out by it. Max hates it. I do not blame him. I don’t like to be smooshed in either. Anna had her first experience with the Escalator… OMG. If you can think back to what it was like for you to learn to get on and off of it, then you will be able to picture the hoot that it was for her to do this over and over. I am so thankful for Lori, she was walking with her at the time, and it never occurred to me that it would be something she couldn’t do simply. We encouraged her and she is getting to be better and better at it.

By now you know our court date is the 20th of March. Mark I think will be leaving on the 21st or 22nd. Not sure. I will stay and wait out the next 10 days and then whatever else it takes to get out of dodge. I am ready for the flight home. I confess I was really crushed to hear our date would not be until the 20th. Like really. It was kind of a slap to have just arrived here in Kiev and been through a 10 day wait already and hear how late this date is going to be… then I got to thinking about it… Reality is that I am here for a reason. Here for a purpose. Here for Him. I do not know how He wants to use me during that time. I hope that He will. I want to feel like, and know that He kept me here for His purpose, and the kids too… I know He doesn’t owe me an explanation for His timing. I am blessed to be here and to be eventually coming home with 4 beautiful kids. Each child an amazing individual with tons of personality, and each one special, and created for His kingdom purposes. I look forward to learning those with them. I will be here for a Radooga conference. I will be seeing some of your faces at that conference. It will be nice to hear how you are all doing in person. Lori is going to register our family as a Youth Group! I love it. Please pray for me at that time, David Nasser is going to be here to speak and I appreciate his family’s ministry a lot. They too adopted and Mark and I having heard part of their story were always encouraged to keep trucking it out till God answered and brought us to our kids. I am excited for my kids to get to sit under this ministry. I am praying that ALL my kids can. I want so much to get John and Kevin for that weekend and have them come to that conference with us. Please pray that all of us will be there for it. It is important to me and for them.

Going to sign out, we move apartments today to live at Orphanage 12 for the rest of our time here in UA. We are happy that we will be living there and excited to get to be around more precious kids. This is a great thing for us and for our kids. We leave at 4pm to move today. Tomorrow is women’s day here. It is a huge holiday. Not one that I have heard many UA women say they really think is all that… I’ll hold that for later, but I am thankful we will get our boys and as a family we will go play video games and eat pizza at Caravan. We can get them on Sunday too and I think we will bring them to 12 and we will have a family dinner there together. I look forward to it.

Missing you guys a lot, and trying to settle in for the second leg of this journey. I never want to hear another pregnant woman howl about her 12 hours in labor again. Honey that ain’t nothing. LOL.

Big sugar to you all…

Still pushing in UA… Jenn.