Back In the Game

March 9, 2008.


So… (which is like saying “um” or “ok” here in Ukraine… it is our kid’s favorite filler word) we are back in full swing. Have some fun firsts to share with you. Think I told you about the escalator ride already on the mootro. John and Kevin got to come out with us yesterday to Caravan. They are not allowed to “spend the night” at our apartment but they have been granted longer visits (THANK GOD!!!) this weekend because it was a holiday.

The 8th of March is international women’s day. One friend said it was an “artificial” holiday and said honestly that she did not like it because she feels like it is false here. She says that she remembered when her Dad one day a year would bring flowers to her Mom but because he was an alcoholic it would only last till later in the night when he would beat her. Can I ask you to think about that? Would you just mull over in your mind the rights of women and if you are one in the states would you take a second to think of the things that you have the right to do there that the rest of the world only dreams of? Did you speak to your Husband as an equal in the last day? Did you speak out of turn? Did you go out side with out covering your head because you could? Did you go to church and get to go all the way inside the building? Did you drive some place? Do you know who you will vote for in the coming elections? Do you have a job? See here I sat with a woman on the tram on the way back from our amazing day with the kids she was watching us. I don’t know what happened in her life. I don’t know if she was missing her daughter, sister, friend or Mom… I saw so many lovely flowers so many wonderful happy women getting them… and then I saw the broken ones like this lady. I could identify with her Mother’s Day has been hard for me for years. I felt for her heart. She was observing my (at the time hilarious if still obnoxiously loud) kids enjoy themselves as brothers and a sister… as a family with us. She was weeping. At one point on the trip I just knew I was suppose to reach out and take her hand and pray for her quietly. I didn’t want to be intrusive. I just knew what I was called to do. I touched her hand and at first she just gave it a squeeze and looked at me as we sometimes do to each other and her eyes said “oh don’t because I will loose it even more” I just bowed my head and prayed. She held my hand she could have let go, but she didn’t. I looked up at one point more and smiled and she mustered one for me. When I got to our stop Lori told her for me “In Jesus name” and we hurried off the tram. She waved out the window as the tram passed us. I don’t know her name, but I will always remember her face. Maybe you will pray for her and the other women of the world like her everywhere?

The kids had a smashing good time at the Caravan. I do mean literally smashing. They slammed into each other (and everyone else) at the Ice Skating place. The boys and their Papa skated and Anna, Lori and I got coffee. We then went to the place all malls have and got something to eat. I split the kids up, sending John as the oldest with Max to go get lunch, and sending Anna as the oldest with Kevin to get their order. Each group was to watch out for each other, get lunch and stay together. By the end of lunch they were joking with each other and us. They were calling Anna a “tur-teal” because she eats slowly. Actually she was doing it to get their goats because we were to wait with each other before going to play games upstairs. She knew they, begin boys, wanted to get to it, and she being as girly as you get girl, was just not into the video games. She took her time with her ice cream and they were getting so riled up at her. She loved it and to a point they did too. They went up to play their games and they had a good time with Papa and enjoyed the time with Lori too. Anna, like last time, only got into the games at the very end of the time we were there. She decided we needed to get her another game because she didn’t get to play as much as the boys… hummmm Poppy got them one more game each because Anna didn’t get to play as many… Mom has no comment on that really. And yes, they really do call him “Poppy”… and do not crack up, I am “Mamula” and… I love it. So there. They use terms of endearment here like we do baby or sugar. They just take each others names and add endings to them that are like “inka” or “imoo” hence, Maximoo and they call Anna her dimenuitive which is Nastya or “Nastinka” which I admit at first just sounds hard on the American ears but eventually you hear it Ukrainian and it is not as funky to say.

We had a great breakthrough with John. He has really been under a lot of pressure. The kids at the school are, as to be expected, jealous of him for being adopted. They are saying ugly things to he and Kevin. Things that are similar to what Max and Anna had to hear in Zaph. I didn’t talk about that lot. They are all being told no one can understand why they would be chosen. For John he has heard things like, “you are not good at school, you are not the best athlete, you are not good at soccer, you are not that good looking, you are not even really “average” so why you? He is ragged on some because we are his parents. I am not a “Barbie doll” Ukrainian or American Mom. That is very important here. Satan goes for anything he can get so of course when the kids get ragged on for having less than “perfect looking” parents that makes it hard for them to want to be close. At least in public. It is not that different than what any other parent of a teenager experiences in that they don’t want you to drop them off at the school at the front door type thing. When we got them back to school yesterday I stopped them up the street before the gate. Lori shared with them for me that we had a really good day with them and we needed them to be very good for the rest of the day and stay out of trouble so that they could come with us today. I asked Lori to say, “I really need my whole family with me tomorrow.” John said, “I really need my family with me too.” Lori shared that with us and it was really special. When we were almost home Cheri called and Mark asked her to call Marla to see if she would call us. She did, and she talked t the kids too. They are learning who is Mammy, and who is Nanny. They are so funny when they try to explain to each other who is on the phone. Lisa was there so I got to talk to her too and it was good to hear another friendly voice!

Today Mark got up and went to 21 to pick up our two and ran into Suzette Davies there to visit her V! So neat! Our two came to the apartment on the hour plus long trek across the city. Mark went to get them while I entertained Anna and Max. On their way here, they talked about plans for tomorrow since it is a holiday weekend. The holiday fell on Saturday so they take the day off on Monday. Hummmm nice perk. Anyway, on the way here they decided that they wanted to get picked up tomorrow, go and walk around downtown, and eat at Pazatah Khata. That was fine by us, it is their weekend. When the guys got here I got out my Russian Phrases book and asked John, “would you help me please?” he was like, “What Mom? What do you want me to do?” I asked him to go with me to the Magazine. He was all about that. Anna finished our picture project. Kevin and Max and Papa were playing and so we left. I told him I would not speak English in the store. We try not to talk a lot or call a ton of attention to ourselves. This is easier said than done. We shopped and I got a good idea for what he liked and wanted. He picked out some ground pork that was wrapped in bacon and asked for ice cream. It was precious. He wanted stuff he didn’t ask for, and he was having sticker shock in this store. Lori and I cracked up at each other last night when we were like, “that is a really nice store.” And you could see us both think at the same time like, “wow… it is kind of funny/sad when you start ooohing and ahhhing over a Ukrainian grocery store… it shownuff aint no Publix or Wal-Mart! LOL. Yet here we are thinking “wow this is a nice store” I promise you if it were the first one you walked into here you would not be impressed… but if it were 2 months into your being here, or several years (props to all of you who have been you are my hero’s) seriously it is a great one!

I cooked a lunch for the kids and an orphan boy named Dima who showed up to hang out a while with Kevin whom he knew somehow. It was a good thing for all of us to have him here. When it came time to pray he was like almost defiant and sat back hard on the couch, he announced “I will not pray, I do not believe in God.” We said that was fine. He did not have to pray. I prayed. Later on Lori came and we asked him why he said that, and he said, He just doesn’t see how he could be real. He is all of like 12. Please pray for him that he will find Christ and begin to see the God is real. He is not unlike so many that we have met. Hearing it from a 12 year old… that is harsh….

Later when the kids went out with Mark I cooked again some chicken and rice, and some fruit vereniky so that later they could have that with the ice cream that John picked out.
The time came, unfortunately, that Mark had to take two of our sons back to the internot. They were not in any hurt to get their shoes on or to get their coats to go out in the pouring rain to make the trek back to the school. We were not in any hurry to make them. We asked John since he was the one that wanted to walk around downtown tomorrow where he wanted to see. He said, “No I want to come home.” We said you don’t want to go to Pazahta Khata? He was like, “No I just want to come home.” That was so awesome. We are happy that he made that choice and I will be thrilled to cook again tomorrow for the family. Lori is going to come for lunch before her class and then later we will have to take the boys back. They have to be in by 7. The freedom is good, but makes the parting hard.

Mom called to tell me about the wedding. I am so thankful that it was as much the dream and as beautiful as all had hoped. I missed being there more than you can know. I thought of you guys all weekend long. She told me that so many of you were there. She talked about how beautiful Naomi and Jon Jon looked together and how happy you guys are with each other. She told me about the Mother Son Dance. I cried. She told me of how much fun it was to be with you her wonderful friends and ours! I know that our family is so blessed by all of you and I am so thankful to each of you who came and called to check on the whole family. You are loved and appreciated!

I need to get two munchkins to bed and I am not far behind them. Just thankful for a chance to write some things down before I loose them. I miss you guys. Thanks for keeping up with us. Thank you for praying for us. I know so many of you are. This trip is kind of reflective of the journey to get here, the journey to get them home is turning out to be a challenge too… I am thankful though because I know that there are reasons we are here… So many… each day… an endless sea of faces that are reasons to be here.

Love,
Jenn

Morning! Mark has gone to get the boys with Anna. Max is playing bejewled on Mark’s computer (we didn’t know it had games… leave it to the kids to find the temporary versions). We are going to get ready and head to the Market but before we do I want to ask you to pray for Lori.

Lori is such an amazing person. She is God’s gift to us for sure on this journey. She has been through the mill with us, seen us at our best and worst, and she loves us just the same. She has watched us grow, seen us fail, and encouraged us through it all to stand back up again. She has been doing camps with Radooga for the last 5 years. She is a volunteer coordinator at heart and she is wonderful at what she does. She always goes over the top to take care of “her people” and she is super at living in the culture and being sensitive to both the Ukrainian way of life and American’s who are here. She is not going to work with Radooga this summer. She has been writing the English teaching curriculum for them for a while now. She plans to help them again this summer but she will be stateside for a wedding in May. We hope to hook up with her then. Of course at the time we thought that would look like we had been home two months but it will likely be closer to only one! OMG I do feel like I live here. J

Please pray with us about Lori’s calling to serve the people of Ukraine (she would say God’s people anywhere any time period) through her many gifts and talents. She is excellent with children. She is sensitive to the needs of orphans kids and those who are adopting. She is well versed in planning and executing camps and how to build a staff who operate well together to marry the needs of the people she is serving on both sides of the fence. She follows the leading of the Holy Spirit and we have observed her walk with God to be very solid. She is looking for the next step in her time here in Ukraine. What will God do with her? How will He take her talents and use them all for His Glory and her best good? Ya’ll stay tuned this girl is on fire for the Lord and with prayer we will see her do even more for Him if we will back her up on our knees.

I have another unspoken prayer request for her too, and for our sweet Calyn. I am hopeful for their very happy bright futures in all things. J

Mark just called and he has the boys and is on his way back in this direction. I am thankful for that. I will close out and we will try to post up later on.

Love, The Smith Family.

It is later on at night here on Monday. We had the boys for the day and it was another good one with them. We are all learning our roles. More on that later.

Mark got the boys back to 21. It was harder today to see them go than yesterday. I am thinking that will only prove to be the case daily.

Bogdon got our dial up going so we can send some posts :) He is so awesome. :) He has invited us to be a part of the ministry that is going on here next week when a group of college students from Xavier U. in Ohio is here to do work on one of the rooms. Lori and I are so excited!!! We are going to meet with him on Weds. to talk about how to help him and the students. What kind of trouble can TWO volunteer co-ordinators get into??? :) LOTS! We are so pumped!

OK so that is all for now. It will be harder for me to check email for a while so please bear with me, and also again please no forwards :) they clog up the works! :)
Much loving
J.