Love from Mommy Dearest...

 

A note from Mommy Dearest… 

 

I have all the docs. The two from up here proudly told the immigration officer that they were not going to live in America long. They would return to Ukraine to play in the streets and smoke where there are no rules. There was not an ounce of pride left in me. I was utterly humiliated in front of a room full of American parents, no doubt thinking (since the kind woman to whom they were speaking wanted to make sure I understood …. I wanted to say "Oh sister… I hear this song daily, I have been here 13 weeks trust me I understand" instead I nodded politely and she translated through the little window speaker for all to hear leaving the room with no doubt…) "She is out of her mind to take these kids home to the states," There were Ukrainians working on what ever they were working on for their visas some of whom were ever so helpful and told the kids that was a good idea to come back to Ukraine soon, and some of whom argued and said "no you will like it there you won't come back. It was nice to know that our family laundry was being aired for everyone to debate. I kept thinking the floor would open and God would let me slide into a hole that would open on the other side of the world and deposit me at home on my couch with my Husband and Dogs, some La Ha and an episode of Lost….. hummmm nope…  It was a moment every adoptive mother cherishes in her heart. To think that before you ever leave to make it home your newly adopted kids think you are the wicked witch of the west and in their own words, "want to go back to the orphanage where they can do what they want." I think savoring that and drinking that in, while they acted like hooligans and not kidding, AT THE STINKIN EMBASSY, are putting soap in the cups from the water cooler, drinking from them and proclaiming, "these are good "spirits.""  made my heart soar like an eagle. You think I am making this up don't you? Please request a copy of it, it was all caught on video. Trust me it is the only reason any of us still have hair. I would have pulled mine out for a koppet if it weren't going to be on candid camera.

 

You think what really happened was that when the officer said, "Once you land in NY you will be American citizens," that there were tears of joy and understanding in their eyes. You think that they were so grateful that they wanted to nominate me for Mother of the Year and carry me out on their tiny shoulders shouting, "Our Mama is "ochen class"" (Very Cool). You think they were dancing in the street telling every one that they are almost home sweet home…

 

You would never believe that my daughter just hung over my shoulder to tell me that my eldest son has said that he is going to smoke as much as he can so that he will get sick and have to go to the hospital and not have to go to America. Fact of the matter is… that is exactly what he said… and he means to have a go at it.

 

Let me tell you the bottom line. The kid is scared to death. He is also a lynch pin in the family system because he is the oldest, and right now, is the one that the boys are looking at to set the tone. Problem is, he has never had anyone to tell him anything positive about himself, so he has a hard time believing A. He can lead. And B. He can succeed. I hate it for him. It is going to take some lovin and some time for him to come around. What I wanted to do was hang them for their behavior. Instead I bit my tongue all the way back to the apartment. It was kind of funny to watch them stop in anticipation of a hopeful stop at Mc. Donalds ( my look when I walked by was the "um, you have got to be kidding me" look). It communicated. We got home and they ate some soup and oranges. I followed that with a trip to the magazine. Anna wanted some fake fingernails. The boys were appalled at the idea of my spending a whole 5 uah (one buck) on them. I got each of them something, they were shocked. Why after all they did today would I get them a present?  Cause I love them.

 

The oldest calmed down enough that when I asked him if he was ok or if he was angry for some reason he got a tearful look in his eyes. He complained that the problem is that Max talks too much. While I agree Max has the gift of gab (& still a way with animals er hummm)… I seriously doubt we got to the root. Later I told him that it was his choice about the whole turn 18 thing and he got tears in his eyes again… I told him that in 3 years it is his choice to make. I told him if he chooses to return to Ukraine Pop and I will support his choice, we will help him get ready to come back and we will help him get here. I told him we love him and we want him to be happy. He said, "Mama, Yah nes niauu, say chass, bline,  vAmerica / Ukraine… ya duemyish." "Mom, I don't know what I will do right now (pancake – and yes, pancake is their filler word). I'll think" (basically again in my limited knowledge of Russian)… (Side note… as I type, he is cutting another orange in the kitchen, and he just told me, "Mama… ya hachoo America…" I want America… I smiled and choked down tears in my throat to say "Yah tosha" … me too…). Ya'll we are dealing with some seriously freaked out youngins. They turn on a dime, or if you rather they are like a typical Texas day in March. You never know what you are going to get or what is going to set them off.

 

This note has taken me 3 hours and several trips across the street to the magazine to write.  I am doing squat tomorrow if I can help it… (which is a hysterical statement with 4 teenagers)… and you better believe if I decide to do something adventurous it will be to pack my suitcase. Move over Rolly and Pohlee… Mama is 4 days till touch down and I will reclaim my side of the bed.

 

Pray for the kids ya'll… He hears you… Love and thanks…

 

Jenn & Crew…

Ps… thank you all for your encouragement…  love and miss you… & congrats Caleb! Some day you will be glad you can drive!