The airport arrival

Burn the Ships...

First, I want to pause, and think I am well due... for a spoiled American moment...
ahhhh I love wireless... clean air (my lungs do not know what to do)... and not seeing a single person with a bottle in their hand of anything other than water or soda. Thank you Jesus.

As I write this I am sitting on OUR BED in OUR ROOM listening to the kids howl "Papa!!! Papa!!!" & the sound of soccer balls bouncing in the foyer. Mark meandered in to hunt batteries and let me know they are board... welcome to life Pop ;) & Co. & Please do not tell Nanny that, b/c I made that mistake ONCE as a kid LOL. Toothbrush and floor cleaning keep that from happening ever again... I digress...

I am so thankful to be home. I am so thankful that you all have prayed us through. The trip was good. It was miserable to say "see ya later" to Lori... Girlfriend I say it again NEVER could have done this with out you... Thank you for ALWAYS deferring to Jesus as the one that got us through, but remember my sister in Christ that you were willing to be OBEDIENT to HIM and therefore you are a HUGE part of our family cherished forever. The kids got to New York and asked me if you would have to do this too when going through immigration when you come in May. NO DOUBT HONEY... THEY ARE EXPECTING YOU... We are too!

Had a 20 min round with the dude at Customs just cause he could make us wait... not b/c anything was out of order. Thankful for the team getting the wetseals they made all the difference. No questions just took their time. The parting Ukrainian gift.

Got seated and then no kidding heard, we will begin boarding now for flight 89. ROLL TIDE. Kids were up and we went through the normal jazz and waited to get on. Blessed to have them all sit with me on this flight. First 5 hours they were great... the next 4 Anna ate her fake fingernails... I was thinking of eating my real ones. :)

NY... THANK YOU FOR PRAYING US THROUGH... 15 min early arrival! NEEDED THIS TIME... awesome customs lady, saw us and snatched us slam out of line and into a window with only one dude ahead of us. Interview at window, opening of "the packettes" from The Embassy. And ushered into the secondary processing interview room. Kids all had to sign a paper with their name and get a finger print made. End of 45 min. story.

RUNNNNN to find gate...... TCBY for kids, Starbucks for Mom... and board.... breath... Max's TCBY didn't go down well... but came up just fine in Atl. :)

ATL..... Got off plane, asked nice lady where our flight would be. We were in Terminal A. Gate 6 where we got off plane. Nice lady said B3 is your gate. Left. Got on subway, kids thought they were home... Hiked down to B3 Nice lady says, no you flight is takes off from Terminal A... & pray tell what gate? Ummm hummm Yes you got it... Gate 6. can you say happy Mother? Can you say precious exhausted children?

Got (back) to our gate and settled in. The kids started in about 8:30 they wanted to eat. Youth Group from Bay Community Church where they do Merry Christmas Baldwin County at our gate was there and all talking about getting Chick Fil A. Sounded good. It was. :) Max liked it and only once as a bonus. :) They fell asleep all over the chairs at the gate, and Anna attempted to snuggle with a nice older man's carry on suit case. They were the talk of the gate. I tried not to fall asleep in my sweet tea and literally cried when we got on the plane and fell dead asleep. I woke up on the decent into "Pepsicola" which is what the kids call Pensacola.

We had a lot of loving folks meet us at the gate when we got off the plane. Ya'll blessed us and we know it was hard for you to get out so late at night and have to be up so early this morning to be in His house. Thank you for another sacrifice of time and love for us. It was a blessing to see you all. Thank you to Mama and Papa Hall & Miss Beautiful for your trip to come and see us and love on our kids and encourage me. 4 more home Hope family... FIVE MORE TO COME SOON!!!! We are praying for your appointment date to come QUICKLY... Can not wait to be on the giving end of encouragement to you guys for all you have done for us.

... so many of you have called, written, given, sacrificed and most importantly prayed... PLEASE know that you are NOT TAKEN FOR GRANTED... NOT ONE THING YOU HAVE DONE NO MATTER HOW "SMALL" YOU THINK IT IS IS LOST ON US... NOT ONE...

The Steven Curtis & Mary Beth Chapman Adoption Foundation called Shaohannah's Hope gave us a grant of $3000.00 to help with our adoption. I mention this again to offer hope to you guys coming behind and encourage you to APPLY NOW for a grant. It really helps. I also mention this because last night when Pop was getting the kids settled, and I was finally "alone" for a few minutes one of his songs went through my mind.

In the spring of 1519
a Spanish fleet set sail
Cortez told his sailors this mission must not fail
On the eastern shore of Mexico they landed with great dreams
But the hardships of the new world make them restless and weak
Quietly they whispered, "Let's sail back to the life we knew"
But the one who led them there was saying

CHORUS
Burn the ships, we're here to stay
There's no way we could go back
Now that we've come this far by faith
Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return
Our life is here
So let the ships burn

In the spring of new beginnings
a searching heart set sail
Looking for a new life and a love that would not fail
On the shores of grace and mercy we landed with great joy
But an enemy was waiting to steal, kill, and destroy
Quietly he whispers, "Go back to the life you know"
But the one who led us here is saying
(Chorus)
BRIDGE
Nobody said it would be easy
But the one who brought us here
Is never gonna leave us alone
(Chorus)

It is 9:30 am ... I am going to rescue my husband, who rescued me 9 years, 4 months and 1 day ago from a life that would have been so much less of an adventure and surely not as beautiful and fulfilling as the one that we share now...

To find and follow this family as it continues on it's adventure remember to tune into:

www.fourukraineteens.blogspot.com

Not promising for daily digests :) but will keep you up to date on our clan's newest adventures.

Thanks for the company on the journey. ( & Lori... looking forward to hearing what your new land looks like as you burn your ship. Praying for you... & thinking Sunflower thoughts... )

Love from all the Smiths Here... finally here...
Mark, Jenn, John, Anna, Kevin, Max, Rolly & Pohlee....

a little weary ... but still truckin

Jenn calls as they arrive at their gate in Atlanta. There were almost enough seats to take an earlier flight out, but not quite. Max gets off the plane and on the runway, relieves himself of an upset stomach. Yes, you got out, he vomits. How nice and poor kid. Jenn said even she got a little air sick on the NY to ATL flight.

So, it will be the normal time of around 10:45pm. One more leg to go. Thank you for your prayers.

I am off to walmart (I forgot something ....) and then to the house and then to the airport ...!!!!!
love you all

Papa

Our kids are Americans

Jenn made it through everything at NY, and they are now eating some food, and close to their gate. God is good. Jenn said the kids have been great. Please pray things go well in ATL., and that they will do ok on their connecting flight to Pensacola. They have plenty of time, so it should be good.

Thank you for your prayers! We know God's grace is present.

Much love
Papa Mark

Touchdown

Jenn just called for 2 seconds saying we made it to NY. I praying right now for some grace with customs, immigration, and whoever else she has to talk with to get to her gate to head on to ATL and PEN.
Pray with me, and I will update you again as I hear from her.
Proud Papa

Sending the Smiths home!

This is Lori, by the way.

Took the Smith clan to the airport this morning, so they are headed your way!

Jenn wrote me as she was boarding to let me know they were getting on, and that was about 20 mins ago, so I assume they are now in the air! (as I was writing this Jenn called to say they are all on board and the plane is about to take off…)

And to just be completely honest with you, the kids are scared about going to America. They are beginning to get the picture that things are going to change for them. And really they don't get the half of it. Right now they are most afraid of entering an entire English world. Lots of questions about what languages they would hear on the airplane and how would they be able to communicate once they get to America.

Last night Jenn had a family "this is what tomorrow will look like" meeting. She told them that some of you will be there to greet them and that you love them very much. She explained that you love her and Mark and thus you love them too and are very excited about their homecoming. She explained that there will be hugs and greetings of "Hi" and "We're so glad you're here." This information was met with a bit of hesitation. I really think they will respond well to you, but please keep in mind that they are scared, everything is new and overwhelming. Offer hugs, but please don't be offended if they are met with hesitation and/or resistance. Remember these kids aren't from the South and they are just now beginning to learn what family is--and you get to be a part of that. SO COOL!

If you want to try your hand at some Russian as you see them "Privet" means hi and "Ya rod (like the fishing pole. and 'roda' if you are a girl) ooveedit vas" (phonetically) means "I am glad to see you"

Mark, I have heard each of your children express great excitement about seeing you soon, so know that you are loved and missed!

I assume the next post will be from the Smiths stateside and TOGETHER!!!!

And know my prayers remain with you...maybe I'll make the blog again in May ;o)

Max is ok.

Hey shorty...

Thanks for your prayers. Max is ok. Has a few stiches and is not happy about his Ukrainian Head dress which he has to wear until tomorrow morning, nor his "bald patch."

Jenny THANK YOU for calling Mark...

All... THANK YOU for calling us to see how he is doing. He is presently passing out even though he defiantly let me know "NO I WILL NOT SLEEP" ~

Please pray for us esp. for getting through New York.

LOVE YOU ALL...

Jenn, John, Anna, Kevin and Max

Prayer Request.

Hey :) Please pray for our youngest... so as not to be outdone by his Mother, he has taken a trip to the hospital to get stiches in his head. He thought he had more room than he did playing on the playground and cut it open on a metal bar. Magdych and Lori to the rescue again. Magdych asked me to stay home with the other kids and wait. Lori went to find dinner so there is nothing to cook and I am asking for prayer and generally freaking out that Max is getting a nice going away present. OMGosh Ya'll!!!

Here is what the fam looked like this am before I shaved a part of Max's head to see how bad it was.

The kids are sooooo excited to come home tomorrow and see Papa and meet new friends. They have talked ALL DAY LONG about Mama Valerie and Papa Randy being there too. So precious.

I love you guys... and I am ready to come home.

Pray for my baby... and all my babies :) Miss you and love you...

Peace out till the states...

Jenn

Start Spreadin the News...

Anna's Bag.

Max's Bag.

John's Bag...

& Fittingly... Kevin's Bag...

Mine are packed... Ceptin to add in my last minute jazz... I can not believe tomorrow this whole thing is starting over and finally at HOME.
Please pray us through. Know you have so far.

Faithful Followers...

Some of you have already written asking that we keep the blog up when I get home with the kids. Not sure how much time I will have to start with... I will try to "be good" about sharing our adventures!

You can find us at http://fourukraineteens.blogspot.com/. The blog is called, "This is Family" which is what Max likes to say when he is really loving doing something together.

Let you know later on how the rest of today goes but for now, it is Midnight, and if I have a prayer of making it tomorrow I am signing out.

Love from the Proud Mama of Four Ukrainian ~ ALMOST American Teens.

thinking out loud

Mark ~ it's been 3 weeks, 5 days, and to many hours since I saw you last. If you find a copy of Share the Well… listen past the last song, and to the "hidden track" on the CD. There is the bottom line. If you can't find it just know, I miss you…

 

The kids are climbing the walls, and they feel like they are closing in on us. As a bonus today our daughter has decided that she will not smoke in America. Good to know…

 

Our youngest had a moment last night, he was due one, it was well past his turn. This morning however since all his jeans were "moh cree" (wet)  he had a few minutes to hang out with just me. We were well over our tift from last night and I was back to "Mama Baby" as opposed to some other more colorful terms of endearment. I much prefer to be Mama Baby, trust me, you would too. When he gives you a grin and snuggles up to you and hugs you like there is no tomorrow pretty much all the reasons in the world NOT to do this melt. You are left with the only reason you did it to start with… LOVE… and all HE is…

 

Pondering this person, LOVE, and His characteristics again this morning, I am left thinking of how short I fall, I know I am not alone. I'm in good company with the rest of you, oh don't be offended, for Pete's sake, you know it is true. You also know it is true that no matter how short we fall, we are His. End of story. Beginning of Life. Truth be told, I would much rather go through this with the rest of you who are His than any one person who is not. Now if that is offensive to you ask yourself why? When I am home and human we can talk about it. What I know is this, my Dad loves me, just as I am. With all the faults I have, with all the ways I looked down the list at what Love is and saw how many times in the last 13 weeks I have unspeakably missed the mark, plainly He still thinks I am great. That is so confusing. How could you love me when you know what I have done, and failed to do and how often?  If it blows my mind, think what it does to the mind of a newly adopted child. It is the same you know.

 

They are so confused. There is this language barrier. We all go through it as new adoptees… and it is hard. Like, when someone says, turn to "Victory in Jesus." You don't need a book for this, you all know the words! Well, that isn't true. See I am part of "you all" and I have been for wow… I forgot, not only did I turn 35 but I turned 15 this year too…

 

(Oh Mom & Dad… I am sooooo sorry I did not think to tell you Happy Anniversary… oh I am so sorry… I just this moment realized. Ugh… I swear this process can make you crazy and you just don't think… Wow… 15 years! Tears… You two are so amazing. I just love you both so much. I will make it up to you I promise soon as I get home! I have missed so much this year…when some one asks me in December where did this year go I will tell them "to Ukriane" LOL)

 

Anyway… as a 15 year old in Christ, I do most certainly not know all the words to Victory in Jesus, or nearly any other hymn to be frank.  & it isn't that I don't like them, hymns, I do, I just like things that "sound" more like what I "grew up on" as a "child" which as a Christian was in college. So that means those are more the contemporary sounding choruses. If you take a hymn like the folks from Passion on Hymns Ancient and Modern even if you do not know my "heart language" at least there is an effort in the direction of my "dialect." If that makes sense to you… The kids are the same. I have made an effort even though I do not speak their language to try words, to make sounds, and make a consciences effort to connect to them so they want to try to be around and learn more from me and heaven forbid, I might learn from them! Who knows, I might even find that their Russian sounds pretty some times. Not just like they are about to sneeze or cough on me.

 

Past language, there is this difference in our cultures. When you first come to The Family, when you are newly adopted… there are things that are a part of your "old life" that while you are perfectly accepted, your habits might not be. This is surely confusing. Especially when for example that means say smoking at age 12… please do not be shocked by this. You can buy them anywhere any time and pretty much with out any question as to whom for at any age. That is par for the course in a worldly sense. When that is where you are coming from and you are trying to integrate into The Family… one you do not know and do not know how to live in that system, it can create a real upheaval for you in every way. Physically, Emotionally and most surely Spiritually. Coming to grips with this new system and what is ok and not ok anymore is something that takes a lot of time. At 15 in Christ, I still do not get some times the rigidity of "religion" as opposed to the flexibility of "relationship." & I can smell it coming. Having lived "outside" The Family "religion"/ "rigid traditionalism" is a stench that is way to familiar and hyper unpalatable to me. Tell you a secret, case you don't know it already… It BREEDS REBELLION. (look at Really does. Same with the kids. Finding a balance of relationship, and respect for tradition with acceptance of beginning new traditions together is altogether important. Hearing, "because we have always done it this way" is just not acceptable as a rational. There has to be a give and take to be successful in forming relationships with those who are "outside the family" trying to learn to be a part of the family. This is not to say compromise values, or what Christ says do and do not do, but it is to say, make an effort to understand why someone thinks or does things the way they do. Maybe it is out of ignorance for a more Christ like way, maybe it is out of fear from things they have experienced in the past, or out of hurt? I don't know, but I am sure that listening, really listening is a huge step in the right direction. That means with out interruption by the way. Letting someone complete their thoughts. Letting someone get down to what they really mean… even if it takes a cup of coffee or two… or in my case juice or ice cream bar… It might mean leaving from that time knowing that the only ground gained was that the person heard themselves out loud for the first time. Even if that "got you no where" they may replay that conversation again later and think to themselves, "hum… why do I act this way?"

 

My Campus Minister, whom I adored, and who must be having the time of his life with Jesus now since his passing last year, taught a class to (deliberately put) "New Parents of College Students."  Ok, you are thinking, there is nothing "new" about being a parent of a college student. Ahhhhh but you see you are wrong. There is plenty new about it. There is plenty new about adopting a child or five or twenty into the family too. Bill used to ask the parents to consider a mobile that would hang over a child's crib. Brilliant because that is where so many parents are when they are trying to accept a child as some what of an adult all the while looking at them thinking, "this is still my baby." It has a delicate balance. The family does too. When you add a member to the family, or a new tiny plane or  bear, to the mobile, it tips out of balance… same when you take one away. The whole system is thrown. Same with a family. Same with the body of Christ. It is not a "bad thing" just an "adjustment" thing. If someone comes in, or goes out, you have new gifts to discover, or try to take up the slack for their being removed. If you grab the new piece and pull it harshly the whole device shakes and everyone gets scrambled sometimes even tangled up.

 

We are adding 4 new parts to our family. To yours too if you are a part of ours, or we are a part of yours however you choose to look at life. Point is, it is going to take some time to balance with out getting tangled up in each other and to learn to find that harmony we all cherish so much called peace. May not be an easy task. Sure has not been here with one giant piece of our "mini mobile" missing. The balance is WAY off. But we are all working on it. Trying to get into a place that will help us make it.  Please pray for us for that balance. Please pray for yourselves and ask "how do I fit into helping them balance" and how to do I fit into helping my Church Family balance. Each of you are important. Thank you for letting me join your local family and be a part for the last few years. I have learned from each of you.

 

Last thing from this morning that I have been rehashing in my mind/struggling with a little in this concept of love is the "unconditional" part. See the reason my daughter told me this morning that she would not smoke in America is because yesterday for kicks she gave it a try. That was yesterday, and we talked about it, and she knows my stance, and knows it is a no no and knows that I am not crazy about what the boys are doing but that Saturday is coming and that is the end of it. She was fine with that. She told me she wouldn't do it again. This morning, she was mad because I told her to make her bed up before she got dressed as we all share one common room. My "punishment" for this wicked request on my part was that she went slam outside and smoked a cigarette not because like John and Kevin who have been doing this since they were 6 and 7 respectively and have a problem to overcome, nope hers was a case of shear spite and malice. And yes, over the fact that I asked her to make her bed first. Go figure. Point being thus, I love her. She blew it. She offended me big time. She did it willingly, came slam in the house sat as close to me as she could to ensure that I smelled her offense and then giggled in my face like "so there, that will teach you, watch me hurt you for telling me what to do." I was in the right to make the request. Some times in life we are not. Some times we pick fights. Some times stuff is none of our business and we get up in the middle of it with our family feeling like we are "justified" because we are in fact a family member. Doesn't matter. Thing is I love her. She knows it. So, she did what she did, knowing pretty (not full) well what it would do to me, and (and this is a good thing even though it doesn't look good for her as you read it) that I would accept her and love her and forgive her. Shake your head here… WHY DO WE HURT THE PEOPLE WE LOVE THE MOST? Age old question… Age old answer, "BECAUSE WE CAN." We can and they forgive us and love us no matter what and eventually we can work it out because we do really love each other. No matter what the transgression or how stupid we have been… when we really love each other nothing is "unpardonable."

 

I dunno…These are my thoughts for the morning… enjoy your coffee and your day… I have ONE MORE LEFT HERE and then we are coming home and planning to "shake things up" by adding to the family.

 

Love and blessings,

Jenn

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get the Door...

As promised… I am doing nothing major today… I am however for your morning entertainment sharing this bit of information.

 

Last night, after all hanging out and watching Spiderman 2, the boys went into their room. Kevin proclaimed, "Mom, Mama!!! Vwee ee Nastya speat, ee yah ee Maxim ee John America."  - Mom Mama, you and Anna sleep, and I and Maxim and John (pointing to their back packs) will pack for America. Underscore my interpretation. Ahhh yes, a Texas wind is blowing. Or could that be The Holy Spirit on behalf of God answering all your prayers? I gather the later.

 

It is cold here and over cast today. I am going to take advantage of the semi quiet moment I have and start to organize my jazz for this trek back across the planet. I do so with a thankful heart.

 

I leave each of you with this a snippet of a PRECIOUS email from my MS. Sister Jan… The truth will set you free… I suggest take out tonight, and I think in fact we will walk down the street and find some ~ it ain't Papa Johns or Dominos… but it will work till I get home in THREE DAYS… clock is ticking Mark, can't wait to be with you Babe.

 

… from Jan:

O.K. so I made a list for you of the things that satan hit me with when I came home with Jon.  Lies that made me feel like a worthless mom.  I really struggled for about two years that I wasn't being the perfect mom like God wanted.  When God brought me out of it I promised to tell every new mom I know so here goes...

1.  If you have dirty laundry you should get up and the crack of dawn and work like a slave to get it done cause good moms don't have dirty laundry.

    LIE:  Good moms have dirty laundry because good moms prioritize that being with children is more important than have a tidy laundry room.  Besides a few dryer sheets and a damp cloth will freshen up any garment, well except three day old socks - just burn those and buy new because they are cheap!

2.  If your house needs dusting you aren't a good mom because a good mom keeps a clean house.

    LIE:  Dust is your friend.  Think of all the wonderful stuff you can do with dust:  write messages to each other, practice writing English letters, test for allergies, collect enough to form clay, eventually plant things in it when it is thick enough.  Remember having a dusty house never killed a child, but not spending time together will kill a relationship.

3.  Take out pizza is not a good food.  Good moms cook good meals every night and always are stocked up on groceries. 

    LIE:  Pizza has every food group and is tasty too.  Sometimes you need the time you would spend in the kitchen to talk to that other adult living in the house with you, I think they call him dad.  Remember Jesus himself said that it is not what you put in your mouth that corrupts you, hence He gave permission to order pizza!  Order a pizza, put a quilt in the living room floor, spread out for a pizza picnic - they will love it and you will remember it more than all the hours you spend in the kitchen. 

satan will try to convince you that there are things that you need to be doing to be a good mom.  Give yourself a break - don't judge yourself, just seek GOD and hang in there. O.K. so I made a list for you of the things that satan hit me with when I came home with Jon.  Lies that made me feel like a worthless mom.  I really struggled for about two years that I wasn't being the perfect mom like God wanted.  When God brought me out of it I promised to tell every new mom I know so here goes...

1.  If you have dirty laundry you should get up and the crack of dawn and work like a slave to get it done cause good moms don't have dirty laundry.

    LIE:  Good moms have dirty laundry because good moms priortize that being with children is more important than have a tidy laundry room.  Besides a few dryer sheets and a damp cloth will freshen up any garment, well except three day old socks - just burn those and buy new because they are cheap!

2.  If your house needs dusting you aren't a good mom because a good mom keeps a clean house.

    LIE:  Dust is your friend.  Think of all the wonderful stuff you can do with dust:  write messages to each other, practice writing English letters, test for allergies, collect enough to form clay, eventually plant things in it when it is thick enough.  Remember having a dusty house never killed a child, but not spending time together will kill a relationship.

3.  Take out pizza is not a good food.  Good moms cook good meals every night and always are stocked up on groceries. 

    LIE:  Pizza has every food group and is tasty too.  Sometimes you need the time you would spend in the kitchen to talk to that other adult living in the house with you,  I think they call him dad.  Remember Jesus himself said that it is not what you put in your mouth that corrupts you, hence He gave permission to order pizza!  Order a pizza, put a quilt in the living room floor, spread out for a pizza picnic - they will love it and you will remember it more than all the hours you spend in the kitchen.   

satan will try to convince you that there are things that you need to be doing to be a good mom.  GIve yourself a break - don't judge yourself, just seek GOD and hang in there.

 

 ... Love to you all... It is raining here tonight... All is good, Anna is packed. Kevin and Max are packed... John is working on it. God loves all of us who are "pros at crastination" to add a "stroupism"...

 

Lori and I went to the market and got some stuff we dontated to the orphanage here. I had such a nice time picking out a few things for the kids that live here and are not coming home with me that I have fallen in love with. Living here has been wonderful and hard at the same time. SO many special people!

 

Thank you for all your kind words. Your encouragement means the world.

Love

Jenn & Co....

Look who came to tea?

The kids found a Yoshik (Hedge Hog) and saved it from the Dog. :) I like him. He came and visted for a while today.

Love from Mommy Dearest...

 

A note from Mommy Dearest… 

 

I have all the docs. The two from up here proudly told the immigration officer that they were not going to live in America long. They would return to Ukraine to play in the streets and smoke where there are no rules. There was not an ounce of pride left in me. I was utterly humiliated in front of a room full of American parents, no doubt thinking (since the kind woman to whom they were speaking wanted to make sure I understood …. I wanted to say "Oh sister… I hear this song daily, I have been here 13 weeks trust me I understand" instead I nodded politely and she translated through the little window speaker for all to hear leaving the room with no doubt…) "She is out of her mind to take these kids home to the states," There were Ukrainians working on what ever they were working on for their visas some of whom were ever so helpful and told the kids that was a good idea to come back to Ukraine soon, and some of whom argued and said "no you will like it there you won't come back. It was nice to know that our family laundry was being aired for everyone to debate. I kept thinking the floor would open and God would let me slide into a hole that would open on the other side of the world and deposit me at home on my couch with my Husband and Dogs, some La Ha and an episode of Lost….. hummmm nope…  It was a moment every adoptive mother cherishes in her heart. To think that before you ever leave to make it home your newly adopted kids think you are the wicked witch of the west and in their own words, "want to go back to the orphanage where they can do what they want." I think savoring that and drinking that in, while they acted like hooligans and not kidding, AT THE STINKIN EMBASSY, are putting soap in the cups from the water cooler, drinking from them and proclaiming, "these are good "spirits.""  made my heart soar like an eagle. You think I am making this up don't you? Please request a copy of it, it was all caught on video. Trust me it is the only reason any of us still have hair. I would have pulled mine out for a koppet if it weren't going to be on candid camera.

 

You think what really happened was that when the officer said, "Once you land in NY you will be American citizens," that there were tears of joy and understanding in their eyes. You think that they were so grateful that they wanted to nominate me for Mother of the Year and carry me out on their tiny shoulders shouting, "Our Mama is "ochen class"" (Very Cool). You think they were dancing in the street telling every one that they are almost home sweet home…

 

You would never believe that my daughter just hung over my shoulder to tell me that my eldest son has said that he is going to smoke as much as he can so that he will get sick and have to go to the hospital and not have to go to America. Fact of the matter is… that is exactly what he said… and he means to have a go at it.

 

Let me tell you the bottom line. The kid is scared to death. He is also a lynch pin in the family system because he is the oldest, and right now, is the one that the boys are looking at to set the tone. Problem is, he has never had anyone to tell him anything positive about himself, so he has a hard time believing A. He can lead. And B. He can succeed. I hate it for him. It is going to take some lovin and some time for him to come around. What I wanted to do was hang them for their behavior. Instead I bit my tongue all the way back to the apartment. It was kind of funny to watch them stop in anticipation of a hopeful stop at Mc. Donalds ( my look when I walked by was the "um, you have got to be kidding me" look). It communicated. We got home and they ate some soup and oranges. I followed that with a trip to the magazine. Anna wanted some fake fingernails. The boys were appalled at the idea of my spending a whole 5 uah (one buck) on them. I got each of them something, they were shocked. Why after all they did today would I get them a present?  Cause I love them.

 

The oldest calmed down enough that when I asked him if he was ok or if he was angry for some reason he got a tearful look in his eyes. He complained that the problem is that Max talks too much. While I agree Max has the gift of gab (& still a way with animals er hummm)… I seriously doubt we got to the root. Later I told him that it was his choice about the whole turn 18 thing and he got tears in his eyes again… I told him that in 3 years it is his choice to make. I told him if he chooses to return to Ukraine Pop and I will support his choice, we will help him get ready to come back and we will help him get here. I told him we love him and we want him to be happy. He said, "Mama, Yah nes niauu, say chass, bline,  vAmerica / Ukraine… ya duemyish." "Mom, I don't know what I will do right now (pancake – and yes, pancake is their filler word). I'll think" (basically again in my limited knowledge of Russian)… (Side note… as I type, he is cutting another orange in the kitchen, and he just told me, "Mama… ya hachoo America…" I want America… I smiled and choked down tears in my throat to say "Yah tosha" … me too…). Ya'll we are dealing with some seriously freaked out youngins. They turn on a dime, or if you rather they are like a typical Texas day in March. You never know what you are going to get or what is going to set them off.

 

This note has taken me 3 hours and several trips across the street to the magazine to write.  I am doing squat tomorrow if I can help it… (which is a hysterical statement with 4 teenagers)… and you better believe if I decide to do something adventurous it will be to pack my suitcase. Move over Rolly and Pohlee… Mama is 4 days till touch down and I will reclaim my side of the bed.

 

Pray for the kids ya'll… He hears you… Love and thanks…

 

Jenn & Crew…

Ps… thank you all for your encouragement…  love and miss you… & congrats Caleb! Some day you will be glad you can drive!